Now what?

It's cold and raining here in sunny Los Angeles, a rarity that always has me longing for my warm and cozy (and already made) bed! Too bad I was forced out of the house early this morning in order to finally renew our passports. Why did they find it necessary to change the law about traveling to Mexico and Canada? I suppose it's always handy to have a current passport, how else could a spontaneous trip to Paris happen? We would have done this a while ago but both D and I need to be there in order to renew K's passport and we both were chronic sufferers of ScarlettO'Haraitis. Having zero faith in the system we were also forced to pay the expedite fee, I've heard too many stories about canceled trips due to late passports. That was our number one priority this week. With K's completed application at the post office D and I came back home to finish ours, we were told they must be mailed. Great. Mine is still good for another year but the name on my ticket is different than the name on my passport. Given the current airport situation I though it was better to make sure all of my information matched perfectly.

After that was completed I was home, alone, with a choice to make. Do I return to my closet project? Return to K's closet project? Start a new closet project? Clean? Cook? Return phone calls? Write? Go back to bed? Hmmmm, that was the most comfy option but given the sleepy state this weather can induce I thought it best to avoid the bed, waking up to a call from the school inquiring to my whereabouts would have been embarrassing. I decided to do nothing. This weather is not only sleep inducing but it somehow gives me the green light to slack. It's not often we are forced to stay inside. The rainy weather in this city is like a magnet for bad drivers (although what isn't?). Just sitting here I've heard more than 4 screeches and a fair amount of honking. In addition I know all the streetlights on the way to school are out. Another lovely side effect of the "bad" weather. Seriously, I wonder what these people would do if they ever found themselves in a proper East coast downpour? No wonder I am inclined to stay home. It's scary out there.

The luxury of nothing is something I rarely afford myself. I'm not talking about the nothing that I usually do while deciding what to do, I mean the actual decision to do nothing. Although now that I'm writing about doing nothing means I am no longer doing nothing. Sounds very Seinfeldesque to me. Only I could turn nothing into something about nothing and then make a big deal out of it. Ugh, that gave me a headache. Maybe I should crawl into my bed!

I know this nothingness is short lived, soon I will drive to collect K from school, participate in the Great Homework Battle and then rush off to karate where my body will slump uncomfortably while my jaw is flying. Seriously the mats they have in the class to protect the head of my child look mighty comfy sometimes.

I think I feel bad doing nothing, but if I turn in into something big it isn't nothing anymore. I can talk for hours about how I occupied part of my day not doing a thing. In fact I can put such a spin on it that when I'm done D will think I've been to the moon and back. I wonder if this talent is unique to females. I've heard men make mountains out of molehills but I can make a whole mountain range out of a grain of sand. I have mad shills when I need them.

I talked to a few people who were happy to hear I kicked it for a while "you deserve it!" they all said. Honestly, as nice as that is to hear it's ridiculous. Doctors, nurses and teachers certainly deserve time to chill. Not chauffeuring stagemoms. I mean so what if my new car has almost 9000 miles on it and my six year old needs more space in her datebook for all of her various activities. Who cares if I'm battling demons from the past (and present) every second of my day and does it matter that I am plowing through a hefty to-do list like there's no tomorrow? Not really, I love every minute of it.

The reality of this? I would be miserable if I actually had nothing to do. If I had all the money and time in the world and was able to sit on my ass all day I'd end up burning piles of cash just to have something to do.

Nah, I probably wouldn't do that.