Saturday, February 17, 2018
I used to think moms who left their kids were terrible awful people. Then my daughter hit the teen years and I found myself wondering what life on the run would be like.
On a daily basis I hear how stupid, dumb, lazy and boring I am. I hear that I ruin everything, make life suck and generally exist to make her life awful. Then she needs something and I become number 1 mommy again. I just heard that I wasn't wanted at a volleyball tournament because she is embarrassed by both parents together. We suck as a duo. I mean we suck separately but are worse together. It's harder to pin us against each other when we both there. How do parents keep their shit together? Is this the reason for so many broken marriages and affairs? Do they beat us down to the point that we are incapable of being fixed?
Parents before us weren't as involved and while we were a handful we were never like today's teens. I believe this is the punishment for caring. Parents put their kids on meds at an alarming rate and I believe it's to stop the emotional abuse we are experiencing. I never realized that.
So I'm damned no matter what I do.
Apparently I am free tomorrow, anyone want to meet for brunch?
Monday, February 12, 2018
So after the election my Facebook page turned into a political rant page. Then I found solace and safety in a few private groups but I still posted my feelings. Realizing that it was pointless I took it to Twitter. I really enjoyed the resistance community I found there and was happy with the safe space that was created for our political angst. Recently someone asked my husband if I was OK because my tweets were troubling. So now I have no safe space? I guess that's why I came back here. While it is a public site and potentially I could reach millions, I know it's just me. That's OK. It gives me time to remember all my passwords so I can get new accounts and go back to doing what I want without judgement.
This shit only happens to me.
Sometimes I feel the need to look around for hidden cameras. I've written this before but some days are so full of next level shit it can't possibly be real.
If it's real I need to stop asking "what else can happen?" because one day I'm going shake my head (in that way I always shake my head) and it's going to snap off and roll away.
That would be a wicked series finale wouldn't it?
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Suppose last night for dinner I had a salad. Then later that same night I ate a six pack of Cinnabons. The next day when someone asked what I ate and I said a salad technically it's the truth right? Lies of omission are still lies but they protect us from looking bad or behaving in ways we shouldn't but who does that protect?
Just some thoughts in my head today.
and no, I didn't have any Cinnabons. Just some organic butter free popcorn which sucked.
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Friday, February 2, 2018
Sometimes who you seek when you need advice matters more than what they say. When you go to someone who will always take your side you lose. Every time. Doesn't even matter what they say. You might as well talk to yourself, it does less damage. Getting a false sense of what is right can be dangerous. A true friend or ally is the one that tells you the truth and not what you want to hear. If you find yourself going to the same person over and over it's not because you trust them. It's because you are weak and need validation. These people are the ones in the same situation year after year.
That concludes my rant of the day.
Monday, January 29, 2018
I'm not a morning person but my favorite time of the day is 6:30AM - 6:40AM. The time that I wake up, crawl into bed with my daughter to wake her up and then snooze for ten wonderful minutes. In those marvelous minutes my child is a half asleep snuggling hugging angel. Smiling while getting those last minute dreams in before life snatches the serenity away.
The good news is that I get that every day.
Who says snoozing is bad?