Friday, March 19, 2010
The list goes on
About a year ago there was a Facebook list thing going around. You were supposed to write a note with 25 random things about yourself. Hmmm, about that time I was living in Egypt, somewhere along denial (oooh, sorry I really felt the need for a crappy joke) coasting through life like everything was peachy. Instead of writing 25 dumb things I thought about this list and what it could say about me. It was actually my emotional cotillion and writing some truths among random facts was freeing. Not only was putting the words from my head to paper, or intewebs in this case, a huge weight off my body but the response I received was invaluable. Friends thought I was brave for admitting some tough truths and being so honest. That kind of feedback felt amazing, rewarding and natural. I put myself out there, my real self and no one was disgusted, repulsed or put off, in fact it was just the opposite.
I realize now that was the start of my evolution, if I could open up and be accepted via the internet, surely I could at least try in person. Really what did I have to lose? Slowly and careful I let bits and pieces of myself come out, and eventually I shed the weight of my past both literally and figuratively and reaped the rewards emotionally and physically. Not only did I find a nice place in which to exist but I almost fit into the same pants I wore when I was 16. Why I didn't do this sooner is beyond me.
So I am copying this list here, 25 random things about me, kind of a like a clip show. Not out of laziness (well maybe there is a little of that, it's been a loooooooong week) but I really want to put these facts here. Some of them are things that I had never discussed and some are completely idiotic but make me, well me. So enjoy these random things about me, and if you haven't done this already, take the time to write your own. It may send you on a wonderful journey!!
1. I tend to put off things that make me uncomfortable which is why it's taken me this long to write this list.
2. I adore my husband. I think he is the most amazing person I have ever met. I could fill this list with all the reasons I love him. He is my very best friend and always has been.
3. I am in awe of my daughter.
4. I never ask for help. Especially when I really need it. I will try to do it all and make it perfect even if it sucks all the life out of me, and it usually does.
5. I love football, I do not understand people who do not share in this love. Seriously, football rules, even when the Jets lose. Dave and I mention our love of football and our respective teams in our wedding vows. I am not kidding either.
6. I hate when there are limes in my drink. It drives me crazy and I have no idea why.
7. I tend to exaggerate.
8. I have no middle ground. Either I love it or I hate it, this drives my poor husband crazy but not as much as #7.
9. I am very loyal. I get mad when the ones I love get hurt. I can forgive someone who hurts me but if you hurt the ones I love I will hunt you down and kill you. (see item #7)
10. I have spent 75% of my life wishing I was someone else and the last 10 years grateful that the lessons learned during that time has made the person I am now.
11. I constantly talk to myself. Sometimes I have whole conversations, apparently I am a really good listener.
12. I have second guessed every decision I have ever made except the one I made when I gave Dave my phone number on the night we met.
13. When I was 18 I went to Spain with my father, on the street in Marbella a Saudi Arabian Sheik made him an offer for me.
14. I do not forget a thing yet there are years of my childhood that are completely blank.
15. My mother's second husband was a horrible person and tormented me for years. I kept/keep most of this a secret because I was embarrassed and afraid. I still to this day cannot say his name and sometimes have nightmares that he is still in my life. I imagine that this is the reason for #14.
16. I am a terrible liar, please don't ask me a question unless you are prepared for the truth!
17. i used to hang out with some famous MLB players.
18. I always send a thank you card and I am thrilled when I get one. I am trying to get over the fact that my obsession with manners is my problem.
19. I cannot sing to save my life but in my car I am Diana Ross!!
20. I know if I try hard enough I can do anything. It's my fear of failure keeps me from doing things.
21. I know all the words to 99% of the songs on Sirius 70s and unfortunately Sirius Kids Place Live.
22. I love hanging out with my daughter, sometimes I forget that she is only 5. She's the best girlfriend I ever had. I am so proud of who she is and so happy that she will grow up in a happy and loving environment, and even happier that I get to watch it.
23. On my first date with Dave he pulled me into an alley to kiss me. It is the single most romantic moment in my life and I still get goosebumps when I think about it.
24. Our wedding was the best party I ever went to (and I've been to the Emmy's!) People still talk about it.
25. I didn't think I would have anything to put on this list and now I wish it were 50 things about me.
Can I add that I am so happy to have found all my old friends on Facebook and that I would not have been able to write this without seeing how all the people I know and have known are absolutely amazing.