I remember the days when meeting a friend for lunch was easy. A call would be made, a time would be set and a plan would be made. That was before I had a kid, thankfully my friends have kids too because making lunch plans has become annoying. It goes like this: A call is made, the call goes to voicemail because I am in the bathroom putting a band aid on K's non existent injury. I return the call, it goes to voicemail because my friend is changing her babies diaper. She will text me to tell me that she can't call me but I can't return the text because I am now driving. I call her back from the car but she can't talk because she is on the other line. We try again the next day.
Sadly, this is exactly what happens. It takes days to make a plan for lunch. I thought these things would be easy in summer but they aren't. When the plan is finally made, the day and time set, something always comes up to force a cancellation. For my friends it's usually a sick kid, a late babysitter or a forgotten appointment. For me it's usually a last minute casting. Today I had lunch with a friend that started out as a birthday lunch for us sometime around the end of May. It was supposed to be a kid free lunch but for that to happen it would have to be September.
So K and I met my friend M and her adorable 9 month old daughter in a nice place for lunch in Santa Monica. Luckily they put us in the back, one sight of the baby scared the staff. It was actually pretty mellow, M's little cutie E was happy to play peek-a-boo with K, who was happy to entertain because there was a buck in it for her. She even ate her lunch, well most of it, at least enough to get Pinkberry. The talk was about househunting and school budget cuts, the beverage of choice was coffee, of course. A far cry from the giddy new boyfriend discussions over cabernet. Times change, I guess. Instead of rushing back to work we strolled around Montana Avenue stopping to look at cute clothes. For our kids.
After a nice walk we said our goodbyes, no office to return to, M had to pick up her son at camp and I had to get K to karate. We were no longer the center of our own lives and we were fine with that. We both decided before we had our kids that when that time came the kids would come first. That didn't mean that we wouldn't take time out for ourselves, it meant that we would take our role as parent as seriously as we took our jobs, except no drinking while we're working.
Is it annoying that it takes months to plan a 90 minute lunch with one other person? Sure. Would either of us have it any other way? Nope. Our ladies lunch today was fun in a way we never thought possible. I remember back in the day seeing moms and their kids at lunch and thinking that I was lucky to come and go as I please and felt bad for the dressed down mommies. Today seeing young girls having lunch in work clothes makes me thankful that I don't have to rush and grateful that I don't have to wear heels.
More coffee? Sure, we're not in a hurry!
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