Too many mental tabs open today.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

My Breast Friend

So yesterday I had to get a mammogram. I had my yearly pap last month and my doctor told me to stop putting it off and just go. It was no big deal. Sure, easy for the man without boobs to say something like that. He gave me a piece of paper and told me to go.

So I went.

I wasn't going without K though. Luckily the only time I could get was the afternoon, after school. D suggested I drop her off at his office, which was really nice. He also offered to come for moral support. I declined both letting him know that while I appreciated the offers I didn't really want to do the extra driving. The truth is, I wanted her with me. She's like my lovey, you know a item of comfort that babies tend to carry. While I wasn't worried about the pain (I'm tuff, remember) I was worried where my mind was going to go while I waited. The OCD makes me immediately think of the worst possible scenario. There's nothing I can do about that, except carry my lovey and think about good things.

The traffic wasn't bad, which helped my mood and there was valet parking at the imaging center (only in Beverly Hills, right?). I checked in and had a brief consultation with a super cool woman. Then we headed into another room where I stripped to the ugly robe and waited. K and I sat there and played Pig Rush on the iPad. She sat in my lap and didn't get annoyed when I smelled her head, a habit I've had since she was born. When it was time for me to go in she kissed me and told me she loved me. She also told me that she hoped my boobies weren't going to hurt.

The mammogram itself was easy, not a real pain, just some discomfort. The tech I had chatted with me the whole time and we were done in record time.

Not once did my mind wander to the dark side, not even when the tech told me that it was possible that I would get a call because something looked suspect on my film. First time screenings tend to raise an eyebrow but it's all normal.

I drove by D's office to say hi and to grab a treat for K and I and then we came home. Not once did I google breast cancer. It was actually a non event with even traffic and parking cooperating.

I never had a lovey when I was a kid and neither did K. She did have Mr. Bear, he went with her wherever we went but that's because I made her take him. I thought maybe it would be comforting to have something to hold, not realizing that she already had something.

She had me.

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