Current conditions: Happy with a chance of ditzy

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tweets are Everlasting

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Oh my poor Weiner. If you know you me then you know the one person in politics that I absolutely adore is (was) Anthony Weiner. Every time his congressional rants were posted online I immediately reposted them. My political crush was legendary and I looked to him as my own version of Jefferson Smith. Plus he was from my old neck of the woods. When the rumors first surfaced about his boner picture on Twitter I felt a wave of nausea, I knew it wasn't going to end well. The "I've been hacked" excuse was as thin as the fabric covering Mr. Weiner's bulge. When it became evident that all of Breitbart's accusations were true I felt completely sick.

I don't care that he engaged in sexy banter with various women, in fact I was actually a little jealous of them. I don't care that he was stupid and sent pictures of himself either. I don't even care that he came across sounding like a fifteen year old boy. I care that he lied about it. I care that not only did he lie but he actually accused Breitbart (a man I honestly believe to be a bottom feeding parasite) of lying.

Then, when finally faced with an emerging shit storm of his own tweets, emails and pictures, he went on television and gave his version of the disgraced public figure "I'm sorry" speech. It was impressive, I'll give him that, too bad it was a week too late. I'm thankful that he didn't haul his beautiful wife Huma up there with him, I hate when they do that.

Immediately following the Weiner Show my Facebook page resembled the AP Newswire. I was on fire with comments, arguments and jokes. In fact some of my best material is up there for all my fiends to see. I received condolence calls and emails from people who knew of my fondness for Weiner (at least the jokes are still funny). Looking at it now though, it's not really that amusing.

What is wrong with people? Don't they know that once you send a picture of your junk it's out there forever? Gone are the days of single use dirty Polaroids. You would think a tech savvy guy like Weiner would know that.

I guess what bothers me most is disappointment, I learned a hard (!) lesson that every man is human. While I wanted Weiner to be above it all, I guess he really can't be, and as I watched him crying I realized that he's only sorry because he got caught. Had this come out that it happened years ago things might have been different. He would have been apologizing for mistakes he had previously made, he would have been truly remorseful because of his past indiscretions and not because his hand was recently spotted in the cookie jar.

So Mr.Weiner, the next time you want to impress a lady you don't know, tweet a line from her favorite poem or song. It shows that you know the true way to a woman's heart (and other regions) is through her head.

Here is a few lines you might want to use:

Everlasting Everything lyrics
Wilco


Everything alive must die
Every building built to the sky will fall
Don't try to tell me my
Everlasting love is a lie

Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all

Every wave that hits the shore
Every book that I adore
Gone like a circus, gone like a troubadour
Everlasting love forever more

Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all

Oh, I know this might sound sad
But everything goes both good and the bad
It all adds up and you should be glad
Everlasting love is all you have

Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all
Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all
Everything alive must die
Every building built to the sky will fall
Don't try to tell me my
Everlasting love is a lie

Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all

Every wave that hits the shore
Every book that I adore
Gone like a circus, gone like a troubadour
Everlasting love forever more

Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all

Oh, I know this might sound sad
But everything goes both good and the bad
It all adds up and you should be glad
Everlasting love is all you have

Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all
Everlasting, everything
Oh, nothing could mean anything at all

2 comments:

  1. OMG....now I don't know whether or not to send pictures of my manhood or texts of my poetry....Either way I know I will come up short ?

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  2. Hi M! I've been off blogger for almost 2 months but I tentatively returned to it today. This post is what I saw on my rolling feed. HA! Thank you. That's it. Just thank you. LOL.

    ReplyDelete