Saturday, February 13, 2010
Flowers and Candy and Cards, oh my.
After what ended up being an exhausting week, mentally and physically, D decided that he wanted to take us all away for the weekend. A change of venue is always a good idea, we always manage to recover quicker after getting away for a day or two (family visits are the exception to this rule, something I promise to delve into just not right now). So I am writing this, not from my living room like I usually do, but from a hotel on the beach in sunny Ventura, California. I'm not sure that this trip is to celebrate Valentine's Day, the long President's Day weekend or the fact that we actually made it through this week without killing each other. Regardless of the reason I am grateful for the location change, so thanks again D.
This brings me right to my feelings regarding Valentine's Day. While I always assumed this holiday was invented by the greeting card, flower and candy companies it was actually established in 496 A.D. by Pope Gelasius. I have nothing against flowers, cards and candy, I have a problem with a day that makes these things expected. How about sending me flowers on a random Tuesday, bringing home candy because you thought of me when you saw it. How about I send you a card that says "I love you" because I love you and not because the calendar says it's February 14th. I think "holidays" like this put pressure on couples, not only do they have to live up to unrealistic expectations but then have to compete for the best "look what I got" present or bouquet. No thanks. I happily made Valentines for K's classmates, the fun they had in exchanging them was, well, fun. In twenty years some of these same girls are going be sitting in an office crying because some boy didn't send them flowers. I'm not projecting here either, I have actually witnessed these V Day tears and it's not pretty. Does that mean I didn't buy anything for D? No, I bought him something that I think he could use, for reasons that will be obvious when I give it to him tomorrow. Did he buy me something? Probably. Will I be disappointed at all? Absolutely not, in fact I would be mad if he overpaid for flowers which are ridiculously overpriced this weekend.
I do love Valentines Day for one reason: On February 15th all those giant boxes of unbought chocolate will be marked down to $2, I love that.
Valentines Day was meant to honor love and affection between intimate companions, if that's the case how about doing just that. Honoring each other with words and actions of love and affection.
You want to buy flowers and candy? Buy them on Monday.