Too many mental tabs open today.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I'm a mom, not a hero.

After school yesterday I went to talk to K's teacher about the incident that happened on Monday. K begged me not to and insisted that she was "OK with it." While I knew this wasn't the case I had no choice but to go against my daughter's wishes. I try not to do this, I want K to know that her voice matters. Precisely the reason I went through with my discussion.

I want her to know her voice matters.

Her little tiny voice was screaming "I'm scared" and I heard it loud and clear. After a brief meeting I reunited with K on the playground and we walked to my car. After a few minutes she asked me how it went. I told her that we discussed the incident, I told her I felt it was necessary to let her teacher know that no matter the circumstances K was left feeling afraid and anxious. We didn't talk about it much after that. We came home, did homework and then shuffled off to K's first volleyball practice.

Typical chaos followed after dinner (shower, arguing about something, she lost another tooth, the usual.) I went in to say goodnight and she pulled me to stay. She then gave me a giant hug and thanked me for sticking up for her at school. "Weren't you scared?" she asked. "Of what?" I replied. I told her that she should never feel scared or afraid, especially when sticking up for herself. What was the worst thing that could happen? More yelling? I told her that I was pretty sure no one ever died from that. I told her there would be many times in her life where she will be faced with people who react differently to situations. Some cry, some clam up and some yell. In any of these situations you remain calm and move on. End of story.

When I wrote about this on Facebook my wonderful friends filled my wall with praise telling me that I did an amazing thing. I didn't do anything amazing, special or outstanding. I stuck up for my kid.

I'm a mom, that's my job.


  1. But you see, you ARE amazing. I grew up with parents who NEVER stuck up for me, always threw me under the bus, never fought for me even as I was being abused under their roof. They have their reasons for being who they are. I've forgiven them. But just know that your actions speak volumes and teach K that she's worth fighting for. I never had that. Big hugs!

  2. Sadly I grew up the same was, I suppose that's why I see it as merely the right thing to do. Growing up alone without an advocate is tough. Looks like we both took the right lesson from that. You are a great mom, role model and friend!