Too many mental tabs open today.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Important Information For ALL Women!!

Rethink Breast Cancer presents: Your Man Reminder.

I'm conflicted. I want to write about the significance of this day, yet I want to enjoy the quiet time I have right now.

I will write tomorrow about this day, January 30th, how it was a defining moment of my life. How I said goodbye to one part of my life and started another. A great and wonderful part filled with the most amazing friends a girl can have. Friendships based on nothing but a mutual respect and love with no hidden agenda. I've sworn off all emotional creatures of the night and my new life is wonderful.

In the meantime please enjoy this very informative medical video. I had to watch it many many times to really grasp the message. I might even watch it now. I like to be informed.

Friday, January 27, 2012


Exactly a year ago I took my whatever color it was hair and went black, or as black as my ridiculous thick hair could take. It was quite the process and went back a few times because the red always came through. I gave up and actually started to like the red. Today I am due for another change. Not sure what it will be but it won't be this strange not-found-in-nature color I currently have.

The change to black was symbolic, it coincided with the internal and emotional makeover I was about to undergo. In fact my "anniversary" is January 30. I know this because my BFF J reminded me it was the day we met. Our kids were doing a promo video for their modeling agency. It was love at first sight and we've been attached in one way or another ever since. She isn't the yin to my yang, she the yin to my yin and I adore her. It was on that day that I came to a phone from my previous bestie's wife informing D and I that we were scum and we should stay out of their lives. It was somehow easy and haven't seen or heard from them since.

I am grateful for that phone call because it allowed me to start all over, new friends, new look, new life.

I wonder if there's a card for that?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

It's that time again

I can't believe it's already awards season. The difference this year is I am way ahead of my screening schedule. I usually get to them right before the Oscars. That means that the SAG downloads are no longer available. This year I vowed to start viewing immediately. I'm happy to say that I'm just about done. After every screening I was sure on how the voting should go, that changed nightly. Some faves this year are The Artist, The Help and Midnight in Paris. I was absolutely blown away watching The Artist. D kept telling me it was fantastic but I couldn't see how I would sit through it. K and I both loved it and will be watching it again very soon.

Congrats to all the nominees. Even though we don't any this year it will be fun to see what walks away with the big one!!

See the list here.

Cawfee Tawk.

A coffee, my morning staple. I cannot function with out it. The other day I had traffic duty at K's school, in the rush to get to school on time (7:45 Ugh!) I forgot my coffee. Plus it was pouring and K was cranky. By the time I got home I was completely drenched. It took a hour to dry out and warm up. Right in time for the school to call and tell me that K was another victim of that "thing" that was going around. Ewww. Back in the car, back to school. Grabbed my sad looking child and brought her back home and into bed. I joined her after peeling off yet another set of wet clothes.

Hours later, head pounding I was afraid I was getting the Ick too. Then I realized I had missed my coffee. Problem solved.

I was somewhat relieved and a little alarmed. I was glad to miss the Ick but a little nervous about the headaches. Some research said this was normal. Cool. I can deal with normal as it relates to coffee withdrawal.

So now I'm off to enjoy more liquid gold. Every few weeks I meet a friend for what I like to call "Stagemom Support Group" really we just chit chat until we get the evil eye from the shop's manager. This is usually sometime around lunch.

Can't think of anything that goes together more than coffee and friends.

Oh yeah, wine and friends is also fun. Just not cool at 8:00AM

Friday, January 20, 2012


I love my iPhone, it always plays the right song for me. Feeling crappy today so I stayed in bed for a while, something I don't like to do. After playing on Facebook for a while I got bored so I turned to my music. This was a welcome sound to me. This whole album reminds me a time in my life when I was scared and unsure. Thom's music and lyrics always seemed to be just what I needed. I can't believe how long ago that was.


I'd Rather Go Blind

RIP Etta, the world has lost something special today. This is one of the greatest songs ever written.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Oh yeah!

I started an actual thinking piece this morning (yes, I WILL finish it later after K's audition) but then I got stuck with something I forgot to mention yesterday.

One thing that really bugs be is internet stalking. It used to happen all the time: I would post something on Facebook and then a "friend" who would always like to say "I have a profile but I am NEVER on Facebook" would ask about something I had done swearing that I had mentioned it. I didn't. It happens a lot with K's jobs, because of the new feed mutual friends can now see comments made on my wall. Complete strangers were coming up to me at castings telling me how cool it was that K did this or that. Creepy. I got rid of a bunch people on my page but that doesn't stop the stalking. I don't have anyone blocked (except my MIL) because I have nothing to hide, but seriously, get a life.

I also can't block this blog and I know that people I no longer have in my life are coming here, what they're looking for is beyond me.

Forgot to write that yesterday when I was annoyed. If anyone needs to know what I'm up to they can ask me, if they aren't my friend why do they care?

OK, back to writing my actual thoughts.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Things annoying me today:

SOPA & PIPA unfortunately are not uber-trendy young royals, they are a way to take our freedom. Please sign here.

Marky Mark: Sorry dude, had you been on that plane you would have died like everyone else. I understand that you have a fabulous set of muscles but you can't fight with explosives strapped on a body. The part about jerking off is just wrong. TMI my friend. Read here.

Modern Family: Oh no!!! Baby Lily is going to drop an F-bomb and people are upset. I don't give a BLEEP about that. Want to know what gets me upset? The ridiculous amount of Erectile Dysfunction commercials playing during the day while I'm trying to watch football with my daughter. She knows what swear words are and she doesn't use them. Does anyone really want to explain boner pills to an 8 year old?. Read here.

Facebook Timeline: I don't like it.

There are a few other things but those are the main issues. Talking with N on Saturday reminded me of a few more I never wrote. Maybe tomorrow.

U & I

Just because I adore this song. It was the first song out of my iPhone today. And I know my friend N must love it too :)


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

████████ ██████ ██████████ ██ ████ ██ ████


Lots going on this week, lots went on last week. I met an old friend for breakfast on Saturday, honestly I have no idea when we last saw each other. She's not on Facebook either so we have to read each others blog to find out the latest news. I can't tell you how good it is to reconnect with someone who is truly an extension of yourself.

We spent hours and hours comparing war wounds, laughing at how similar those wounds were. Once again we were living parallel lives. It was good to have a friend who actually understood every strange minutia of my former problems. Reading events on our blogs was only the tip of the iceberg, hearing the actual stories and their gory details made them actually seem funny. It's funny because even as I was living these events I would think "I need to tell N this" or "Only N would understand this" and even if I didn't tell her just knowing she was out there made me feel better.

Anyway it felt good to sit and talk (and talk and talk and talk). We share an interesting history and met even though mutual friends thought it might be a bad idea (it wasn't). We lived completely different lives yet share the same story. Something only kindred spirits understand. This was one reunion that wasn't spawned through Facebook (N swore off social networking after her own drama). Nope, it was born out of old fashioned communication, OK it was texts but still.

I can't wait to see her again, this time I'll bring K and she can share in our gabfest.

N and I always shared a love of music, I forgot to ask if she liked Band of Horses, I heard this song earlier and it somehow reminded me of old times even though it's pretty new.

Hope you like it girlie!! Love you!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Back in the swing of things

On Tuesday I got a call for a commercial casting on Wednesday for K after a nice and quiet few weeks off. I was happy things were starting but now had to reschedule an afternoon playdate. About that same time I got another call from our good friends who live in Germany most of the year. They were back and wanted to play. We decided on an early movie and then maybe a quick lunch before K and I took off for her audition. The next morning K got another audition across town at the same time. Hmmm, why do they think I can be in two places at the same time? We were told to go early to one and later to the other. Thanks, I think I figured that one out myself. The only problem was getting from Santa Monica to Studio City at the worst possible time. I didn't really want to think about until I had to, we had an overdue playdate to make.

We saw the early movie and took the kids to the beach where I tried out my new lens again, it was a little harder with two kids running on maximum power. Then we took off for the first audition of the day. No traffic but no parking and we HAD to be there by 3:00PM to make the other one by 4:30PM. We got there and saw K's bestie who said the wait didn't seem too long, they had other calls to make too. We ended up waiting an hour and I had one minute on my meter when we got to the car, good thing because there was a traffic cop ticketing already.

I now had 30 minutes to get to Studio City with 90 minutes of traffic. I called and said forget it, they said go and I had until 5:00PM. My GPS (who I'm sure is trying to kill me) told me I was going to be late. I pulled off the freeway and took streets the whole way and it only took 45 minutes. It was almost possible to be in two places at the same time! They must have liked her because she already got called back.

On the way home I arranged for a sleepover with K's friend from Germany and stopped off to get dinner for them. I love watching these two play together, it's effortless. They get along so well I didn't want him to leave. I hardly ever say that about kids and certainly have never said it about a boy. It's always sad when they have to say goodbye. I'm hoping we get to spend some more time together before they leave.

My dad is also in town again for a visit which means that K is working next week. For some reason every time he visits she books a good job.

The other day I said I was looking forward to getting back to normal swing of things and then I realized there is no normal for us. We never have the same week twice. This used to freak me out, I'm getting used to it now.

We've always been a see-saw kind of family anyway.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Testing, 1,2,3.

When D asked me what I wanted for Christmas I was serious when I said nothing. I said I cold buy some things and put them under the tree. I honestly didn't want anything, back in November at the parent party for K's school D bid and won a beautiful ring at the live auction. I thought we were doing a nice thing by simply attending but he raised the bar and made all the other husbands look bad. The ring is completely beautiful, absolutely perfect and pretty expensive. For the first time it was me that concerned about spending money.

Anyway, Christmas morning I was given a present to open first. This never happens. Inside a nondescript box was an amazing Canon 24 - 105 f4 L professional lens. While I said I didn't want anything, I meant it. I wanted a new lens but it wasn't something I really thought about. Having a best friend who is also a professional photographer puts any picture taking in the back of my mind since I am now enjoying the styling part of the shoot. So for the days that followed I tried out my new toy, I saw a difference but I needed help. I called my buddy and asked for help. She suggested I bring my crew over to hang with hers and she can give me some pointers.

In between glasses of wine she showed me the best setting for getting what I want (and what I wanted was the look she gets!) We decided to test it out, having kids that model helps out tremendously. I grabbed her daughter and shot her for a few minutes. With the proper settings and an incredibly gorgeous kid I got the kind of pictures people pay a fortune to get. I couldn't wait to try it out with K.

Today was that day. I curled her hair, picked out an outfit that made her look like a little French girl and went to the village. At first she was annoyed, but she soon realized that people were watching and she went right to model mode. When she was finished I paid her in ice cream and we ran home to see what we got. I was beyond thrilled to see images that I always knew I create (with the help of a professional). K gave me her best "told ya" smile and took off to play with her iPad. I posted some faves to Facebook to show friends and felt the love in the form of "likes" and comments. I even got a few requests to do headshots and shoot the new line of a designer we know. The headshots I will gladly do, the job I will pass on to my buddy until I fully manage the crazy manual settings I will now have to master.

All in all it was a great day. K and I are already planning our next shoot, another fist. She never likes the clothes I pick but once she saw her French girl images I became cool again.

Oh la la.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Bending the rules

This year, like all the ones that came before it, I vowed to stay "carb free." This worked for about 36 hours. I also vowed to enjoy myself and not stress out over every single calorie. Today at the supermarket K decided she wanted to make brownies so we bought some brownie making things and came home. Somewhere between Just Dance 3 and Mario Cart she reminded me of my promise to bake with her. I knew this actually meant bake for her while she plays with D. No problem for me, less mess if I do it. In a matter of minutes the house smelled like a bakery and I knew my carb rule was out the window. As promised I didn't stress over it, in fact after K was in bed I opened a nice bottle of something red and had another brownie. Somehow the combination of chocolate and wine just makes me happy.

I can eat a salad tomorrow.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

NFL Bad Day 2008.mp4

This was me.

New Yeah!

I know, I know, I'm way behind. The end of this year was absolutely insane. We took a crazy roadtrip for Thanksgiving driving a total of 1045 miles, the best part was a few days in SF staying at our favorite hotel. Then K was busy working (did you happen to see a certain Target commercial with a cute little baker?) then she got sick. Then D got sick. Ugh. Then preparing for the holidays in between the ridiculous amount of socializing we did. K and I did a girls trip down to SD giving D some time to relax. He didn't. That all led up to Hanukkah and Christmas and a visit from my mom. Surprisingly it went really well, I only lost my temper once when she referred to my sister as "you know who." The good thing about that altercation is her new nickname, from now on my sister will be known as Voldemort.

While my mom was in town D and I took advantage of the free babysitter and took off for a romantic night away from home. I kind of knew something was up when we arrived at hotel without getting lost. I walked into a candlelit room full of rose petals. It was one of those epic nights that I will keep with me always.

The Christmas carnage wasn't too bad, K got a crazy amount of gifts. This will make it easy for her to donate a massive amount of old toys and books to a local orphanage where K will actually meet the kids receiving her well cared for items.

More socializing and visiting which brings us to New Years Eve. I'm not a huge fan of this particular holiday, this may be a result of excessive celebrating during my New York days. It could also be way D and I always end up with nothing fabulous to do (and the lack of sittage). This year we had plans actually made before December 30th. Friends (with kids) were having a party. Friends with no agenda, no issues and nothing but fun on their minds. Friends we have known for years and always enjoy seeing. It was such a nice change to ring in the new year with positivity. The kids (who have grown up together) entertained us and did their best to make it to midnight, K did, the other two tried their best.

We spent the final hours of 2011 amongst friends, eating, drinking and laughing. A complete opposite of the way we entered it. 2011 got off to a rocky start but it turned out to be one of the best years ever. Last year my resolution was to spend more time Face to Face than on Facebook. I excelled at this. Not only did I spend an enormous amount of time with friends, I spent that time with new friends because my other resolution was to get rid of anyone who lived in drama.

So my resolution for this year is to continue to share my life with my friends. To be there when they need me and to lean on them when I need to. This was a year of growth for all of us and I am proud to say we did a fantastic job. When conflicts came up (and they did) we calmly worked them out. When we couldn't agree we compromised and it didn't feel bad.

My other resolution is to be better about writing, even if it's just to repost my favorite video. I will also learn to use the new camera lens my amazing husband just bought for me. With a bunch of beautiful kids at my disposal I'm sure my job will be easy.

Here's to a fabulous 2012.