Too many mental tabs open today.
Showing posts with label selfish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label selfish. Show all posts

Saturday, February 24, 2018

I see the light!






Small rant or funny story from yesterday.

After spending the day watching movies on my couch while I tried to update my website I told my mother I was dropping my kid off at the mall and we were going to walk around and wait for her. It gives her a chance to get outside and saves me from driving back and forth (and back and forth). My kid was pissed, I mean what's more embarrassing than your mom at the same mall? You mom and almost cartoon like grandmother. It was an ugly fight which I took in 12 rounds.

So we drop off the kid and make our way into the mall (a giant outdoor shopping mecca that's actually really cool, a personal favorite) After about five minutes it's clear that my mother doesn't want to be there and she feels sick (which might just be from the fresh air her body lacks) so I ask if she wants to leave. She does. Great. Now I need to let the kid know and find a way home for her. I'm so pissed at this point because I fought for this mall trip. Wasted energy.

I throw my purse in the back seat and plot my way home on the now jammed surface streets. I turn onto Santa Monica Boulevard and I am immediately blinded by the sun. My already light sensitive eyes cannot deal with this and I literally cannot see a thing. I yell "SHIT!" quite loudly and tell my mother that I can't see a thing, she reaches into her purse, grabs her sunglasses and puts them on (her). Doesn't say a word. I cut over the right and pull over. She asks why and I tell her that I can't see. I blindly search for my purse in the back seat and find my sunglasses, get back into traffic and drive home.

This reminds me of the flight safety instructions: Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. I truly believe that my mother took her life motto from that but only heard the first part.

This shit only happens to me.

Friday, January 26, 2018

I'm back with a new voice.



Posted this badboy on Facebook today. After months of feeling like shit I was finally (self) diagnosed. I have an acute case of not being valued, heard and respected. It hurt like hell but at least a diagnosis will lead me to a cure. I'm tired of always being the one "there for you." Sometimes a call, text or email asking how I was would be nice. I only get a random bing or buzz when someone needs something. Headshots? Sure. Can't pay? I understand, I'm in a financial mess myself but on the rare chance someone did something for me you can bet your ass I would bend over backwards (or at least as far as my old body will move) and gush with thanks, flowers and perhaps a Starbucks card.

I get nothing.

Except a request for something else.

Today's rant over. Happy Friday.