Too many mental tabs open today.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

No One's Gonna Love You More Than I Do

Are you kidding me with this? One of my very favorite Band of Horses songs covered by Cee Lo Green? I freaked when I first saw it this morning and I wasn't home. I could not figure out how to post it on my Facebook page, I almost wanted to go home and do it!! Leaving therapy to post a song is extreme.

I know this. I'm not that bad.

Besides, it was a huge moment in therapy. We no longer need to go weekly. Not that we are finished growing and evolving, but the issues that brought us to Dr. Phil are no longer issues. We have both successfully done the work and have found a place that we never thought we'd reach. Home. When we first approached the "couch" we were two broken souls, seething with anger, bitterness and judgement. Mad at each other and mad at ourselves. Wow, that sounds awful. Maybe it wasn't that bad every day but we came into Dr. Phil's office with a full set of unmatched luggage. Therapy, much like life (as said by Mrs. Gump) is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. We went in looking for one thing and left with something else. We soon found out that the issues we thought were important were mere shadows of the real reasons we ended up there.

We both rolled up our sleeves and prepared to get dirty. I don't think either of us expected to be doing swan dives into a pool of mud, but we did, sometimes happily, most times begrudgingly. Over a year and a half later we emerged. Clean. That's the word I used weeks ago and that's what Dr. Phil called it today. We were clean. Ironically it was "all the drama" that served as the final rinse. Our "load" was also over 500 pound lighter (an estimate of the weight from the "friends" we gave up). Cool, lighter and brighter. OK, enough laundry jokes.

I originally came here to post the song but I wanted to share the news. We aren't completely done. Things will pop up from time to time. D's mother is planing a visit soon, we'll come in right before that for some reinforcement.

It was different sitting there on the couch with D today. We talked about how we've grown, especially over the last month. There was no worry that either of us was going to be put on the spot. It was a recap of the last year and a half. I told Dr. Phil about something I was thinking of writing about and he was extremely encouraging. "All the drama" brought out some things about people that I never noticed before. Coming clean, literally and figuratively gave me the clarity I needed to see people for who they truly were. In fact I was able to put the pieces of certain stories together with flawless accuracy. This inspired a theory which I am currently putting together and will have for you soon.

In the meantime, please enjoy the song. No one's ever gonna love you more!


  1. I applaud both you and D for your growth in therapy. It takes two to make therapy work and become a place where you thrive as a couple. I know this because I've gone with both times with both ex-husbands and well...there you go...they are exes for a reason. That is truly commendable and an inspiration!

  2. I went with my first ex and it went the way yours did! Therapy only works when you are honest and I can tell you about 75% of the population is completely full of shit. Which never made sense to me, especially at $125 an hour. Your honesty is the reason I love you and always will, even if I never see you.